If you want to speak or sing authentically, you will embody the OPPOSITE of hiding. Sharing your voice requires showing up to be seen and heard, whether you are on a stage or engaging in conversation.
Yet because we have probably received criticism, judgment, or disrespect at some point in the past when we spoke up, it’s really common to feel like we have to hide parts of ourselves in order to be liked, accepted, and safe.
We narrow our self-expression.
Round out our edges.
Keep the most vulnerable parts of ourselves hidden in the shadows.
If we want to enter the brave territory of showing up fully and authentically, it requires a willingness to visit our own shadows and edges and love them into wholeness. Then we will no longer feel scared of being seen for who we truly are.
This is a layered process which you can take to new depths at each stage in your life.
For example, eight years ago I found it intensely vulnerable to share my spiritual beliefs, especially in the professional sphere. I was scared people would run away from me if they knew about my yogic upbringing with a guru, my love of spiritual chanting, or my belief in the Oneness of all.
I was scared of being judged because I judged myself for these beliefs and interests.
Through the process of learning to love myself with all my quirks and uniqueness, I gradually started to feel comfortable with sharing this aspect of my true self. Talking about my spiritual beliefs became easy, and I gradually felt comfortable sharing my journey publicly through my book, Unleash Your Goddess Voice.
Yet I am still finding more layers of shadows within that want to come into the light.
One inner aspect that I tend to push away came to light a month ago. I was visiting the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, and my daughter took this photo of me on a throne at a temporary exhibit.
When I sat on that throne, I was connected to my innate sense of worth. I was resting in my power and sovereignty.
But once I got up and took a look at the picture, I had a momentary freak out. In my head, I thought,
“I look like a bitch! I look too intimidating. I look mean. I need to go back and retake the picture so no one sees me like this!”
But there were already new people lined up to sit on the throne, and it gave me a moment to pause. I asked myself,
“What’s wrong with looking intimidating? What’s wrong with looking like a bitch? I felt good and whole when that picture was taken, and I certainly was not harming anyone. So why do I feel so anxious about being seen this way?”
I decided to stick with the original photo.
More importantly, I realized that my inner bitch was repressed and relegated to the shadows. While I still highly value kindness and compassion, it’s not helpful to deny that a part of me exists who is self-centered. She will put herself first. She knows how to follow her gut no matter what people think or say.
As I have been giving love and attention to my inner bitch, I have found that she can peacefully coexist with my loving, nurturing self who has always felt safe to be seen by the world.
And when my light and my shadow get together, I can embody the archetype of the queen, who is both benevolent and unapologetic.
I can bring an even deeper level of authenticity to how I show up to speak and sing on stage and in conversation with others. I can allow myself to be seen, because I’m not judging parts of myself as shameful or unworthy of attention.
It’s both beautifully simple and the journey of a lifetime: if you want to be authentic, learn to love ALL of yourself.
Here’s to your full bloom of self-expression,
Sara Giita Flores