I have a long history of trying to push things into place, hoping to manage the “perfect” outcome with every project. And that had better happen on my ego’s timeline, thank you very much!
Yet the pushing habit has caused me a whole lot of suffering, truth be told. Which is why my soul keeps guiding me back to trust, surrender, and flow.
Here’s an example of control versus acceptance and flow. At the moment of writing this first draft, it’s 4 AM. If I were in my mode of controlling outcomes, it would leave me tossing and turning, grasping for sleep, because that’s what I “should” be doing in the wee hours of the morning. But instead I decided to roll with feeling awake, got up to practice yoga, and found myself filled with these words that were begging to be written down.
I learned the Sanskrit word “spanda” (spawn-duh) from author Tosha Silver a few years ago. It means “inner leap,” or that instinctual divine pull to take a certain action. When I feel the spanda arise, I’m filled with energy and motivation. Creative expression flows.
Over the past month and half, that expressive urge has been leading me to redo my website and redefine my work as a voice teacher and creativity coach. Over the past five years I’ve had voice students who were willing to play and experiment with me as I explored how to merge technical voice work and breathing exercises with yoga and inner healing. What’s emerging is a body of work I call Trust Your Voice. I am growing into my purpose of helping singers, speakers, and creative women to reclaim their worth, wholeness, and creativity by training and trusting their voices.
This is a celebratory moment for me, and I might even consider throwing some confetti if my husband hadn’t just vacuumed. You’re invited to join the gratitude party and check out my new website by perusing the pages in the menu.
As you go throughout your day, I invite you to notice if this idea of spanda or the inner leap wants to show up in your life. The promptings of your bodily intuition may guide you to sing a song, or write in your journal, or call a friend. You may feel the pull to declare what makes you grateful right now. Or you may feel the tug to shout a bit or take a walk. You can learn to listen to those inner promptings and express them outwardly with trust and ease.